A Public Service Announcement…

The staff and management* of The Very Inappropriate Blog are delighted to announce that it has recently reached a very special milestone…

fifty fabulous followers-final

* The roles of both staff and management being played by me of course

That’s right, fifty fabulous people in the world have subscribed to the blog (either through wordpress or via email) and it seemed appropriate to mark the occasion by saying thank you.

“But who are these fabulous people?”, I hear you ask. “What are they like?”

The answer is of course that they are, quite simply, a top bunch of people.

But I know that’s not the answer you’re looking for. You’re not satisfied with that type of surface level analysis. You want to more. And luckily I am in a position to give it to you!

An industry certified market research company** has recently conducted a research study on the subscribers of The Very Inappropriate Blog. The findings support unquestionably their status as a top bunch of people…

But wait! There’s more…

Subscribers of The Very Inappropriate Blog have generally been found to be effortlessly stylish men and women of the world.

They are often described as being…

Graph 1

When they enter a room, subscribers of The Very Inappropriate Blog create an instant hush, followed by whispers of “Who was that masked man/ woman?”.

This is supported by the fact that several subscribers indicated that they may or may not have at one time in their career worked for a secret intelligence or “counter-espionage” organisation.

Some of them may also have been Zorro impersonators but this has not been statistically poven.

As you would imagine such dashing people have interests which are as eclectic as they are.

While by no means an exhaustive list, the following interests were mentioned often enough by subscribers to have statistical validity…

Graph 2

Other findings from the study include…

  • 98% of subscribers identify as “human”, with the other 2% identifying as “aspiring to be a dolphin”
  • 75% of subscribers have an inexplicable aversion to the words “synergy”, “interface” and  “tic-tac” in any other context than describing a small minty sweet.
  • 45% of subscriber answered “I’d think about it” if presented with the opportunity to run away with the circus.
  • 100% of subscribers were wearing underpants at the time of the study

Needless to say the last point in particular was extremely reassuring.

However in the midst of this wonderful news about the cutting-edge people who DO subscribe to The Very Inappropriate Blog,  there was some alarming information about those who have not yet done so.

For example did you know that 90% of people who don’t subscribe to The Very Inappropriate Blog never actually realise how awesome it is? Make no mistake – this fact has been verified by research and is in no way an act of blatant self promotion!***

Furthermore the chances of actually missing a post increase exponentially the longer you remain unsubscribed!

Don’t let this happen to you. To make sure you’re one of the cosmopolitan, slightly twisted, international men and women of mystery subscribe now!

WordPress members can simply click the little follow icon at the top of the screen, or else you can sign up with your email address using that little box on the right (under the mugshot).

Don’t delay! Subscribe now to gain instant street cred and a slightly sparkly exterior!****

** the role of the market research company also played by me.

*** IS an act of blatant self promotion

**** only if you also happen to be a member of the Cullen family

And on a serious note…

Thank you all for reading and for not thinking I was crazy – or if you did think I was crazy at least not letting it put you off too much. You will never know how much it has meant to me. 

Linking up with the gorgeous Kim for The Lounge at www.fff.net.com.au 

The Lounge

Advertisements

39 comments on “A Public Service Announcement…

  1. Susannah says:

    LOVE your blog, and love this post hahahha

    • Rachel says:

      Thanks Susannah – for reading AND for being a member of the fabulous 50! I’d love to know how you found me?

      • Susannah says:

        I believe it was from a Shoutout from Memoirs of the Mind, a fabulous blog if I do say so myself. Also – when I read your Kia Carnival post – I nearly died laughing. I can relate. My family has experienced similar issues over the years with our cars…………!

  2. Me says:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this post – what a great way to start my last day at work before I go on holiday !!!
    Have the best day and continue to write the way you do – I love it !!
    Me

  3. Phew, lucky I was wearing underwear when your research company was conducting the study! If they had called me any other time, I would have completely stuffed up that particular metric of yours! 🙂

  4. Katyberry says:

    Well done! I like your analysis and it seems that I fit right in!
    I actually wonder a bit about the small group of subscribers I have through wordpress – other than the ones that blog and comment I DO rather wonder if they are really real or just collectors…. And then I think Whatevs, I’m getting what I need from the people that I know do read me (and the process of writing full stop).
    Here’s to you reaching 50, and me following along just a little bit behind!

    • Rachel says:

      The subscribers seem to be real people, but I sometimes get views on the blog from the craziest places I figure they have to be “bots”. The weirdest ones so far are Nepal, Jersey and Belarus!!

  5. Mumabulous says:

    Oh you had me at bit riled up there. I thought you were going to post crumpet 😉 Something along the lines of “this is a Community Service Announcement – Henry Cavill is hawt”. Nevertheless well done!
    PS: Is there any truth in the rumor that you are coming to Sydney in the not too distant?

    • Rachel says:

      As if! I merely make crumpet suggestions to the master and hope that she, in her infinite wisdom, will see fit to create a post for me to drool over 😉
      Regarding the rumour, it is still in the planning stages at the moment. There is a possibility I could swing a trip down your way through work later this year. But if this doesn’t pan out I’m going make my own way either later this year of early next. I will keep you posted as you are high up on my “would love to meet” list!

  6. Brilliant as ever! I concur that words like synergy and interface are exactly what drove me out of the conventional workforce and into my strange work-at-home-occasionally freelance bubble. So, I’m clearly one of the 75% there. And there are more people interested in the Peruvian nose flute than political activism? Who’d have though it? In Australia? In an election year?? 🙂

    • Rachel says:

      Lara, think about the calibre of the major-party candidates and their respective policies. If that isn’t enough to drive you to nose-flautism I don’t know what will!

  7. Alison says:

    Deffo want to be a dolphin and when watching Carnivale the other day was contemplating how much better my life would have been if I had run away with the Romanies who visited each year with the “shows” (travelling fair). So it seems clear you’ve done your research 🙂

    • Rachel says:

      You probably also fall into the “twisted” category too 😀 Plus I am fully aware that if you answered yes to the underpants question you may well have been lying…

  8. Ness says:

    Love your work, Rach. Not sure why I’ve been a slack arsed bitch and haven’t subscribed. Possibly because I’m a slack arsed bitch. Must rectify that now.

  9. You’re hilarious! I’m going to subscribe via Bloglovin as soon as I work out how.

    • Rachel says:

      Thank you Helen 🙂 I nearly, almost met you the last time you caught up with Sarah, but I was sick and couldn’t go. Hopefully I’ll have another opportunity soon!

  10. I read your blog BECAUSE you are crazy!

    • Rachel says:

      Thanks mate. I’ve got to let the crazy out somewhere otherwise it tries to take over real life. And we all know how THAT will end 😉

  11. Hahaha…love it. Congratulations, Rachel – 50, wow! I’m about to make it 51- I love your stuff.

  12. Mumabytes says:

    I’ve subscribed! Bang, instant street cred 😉 Great post and congratulations. Katie at Mumabytes 🙂

    • Rachel says:

      Thanks Katie – I can see that you now that the promised slightly sparkly exterior as well! I’ve just checked out your site – is is the BOMB! Great design and layout plus lots of interesting posts. I’ve liked your Facebook page and will follow you on Pinterest when finally I get my shit together on that social media platform xx

  13. Lydia C. lee says:

    I reckon you can pour all over the stats til the cows come home – I get quite addicted to see if the 3 people in Thailand came back, or the 1 Korean has reappeared…And 6 people in some little town in the Midwest US. I love it.

  14. Alice Shaw says:

    This post made me laugh… and of course I signed up to follow instantly since your very colourful graphs and charts described me perfectly..

    • Rachel says:

      Thank you! I’m glad you liked it 🙂 I’ve just been over to your blog and returned the favour – I LOVE IT! You know when you read something and you instantly feel a click? Well I just read your post about “The One” at every conference and from that I know that we are definitely on the same page.

  15. Kim says:

    This is the most hilariously fantastic post. I believe I subscribe to ALL those interests, bar political activism. I’m aspiring for manatee rather than dolphin, however. Does that remove some of my awesome sheen? I have an additional word to add to the aversion lost too: ‘Bespoke’. It makes me mouth vomit. Oh shit. I don’t think I actually subscribe. I’ll shaddup now and go claim some awesomeness. Xx

  16. You funny fugger you Rach! LOVE THIS – and your blog and your great graphs and pie charts! I’m twisted and all of the above, if I don’t subscribe I need my BUTT kicked, so will sign up via email now – and hopefully I’ll be like 101! Em xx

  17. It appears I am already a follower – BOOM!

  18. Grace says:

    Nothing wrong with a bit of blatant self-promotion! You got another sign up right here! Although, I’d come under the twisted category for sure, baby!

  19. ladydaadoo says:

    Fantastic!! I am also an aspiring dolphin and plan on getting dolphin transformation surgery in 6 months. I just need to wait until I stop breastfeeding.
    Congratulations on having 50 followers. I think you are so good, I might follow you and help you get to the next milestone. I’d better like you soon, otherwise my flippers won’t let me use a keyboard.

    • Rachel says:

      You are wise to wait on the surgery as I’ve heard dolphin breast-feeding can be tricky!

      And I would love it if you followed me. I loved your blog (which I discovered through the lounge) and intend to follow you also. I think we could be a great team – you can be the good example with your tips on lady-like use of the f-word, and I can be the horrible warning with my inappropriateness!

  20. Good to know all that practice with the Peruvian Nose Flute while wearing underpants & aspiring to be a dolphin has FINALLY paid off!! And where better than here on The VIBlog!! Haha! Love this post & your blog Rach! Well done on cracking the big 5-0! 🙂

  21. This has to be the single best piece of self-promotion I have ever read! I love it, and I love your work!

  22. veggie mama says:

    Ok I’ve just added you to my Feedly reader. This is an honour bestowed on the very few.
    As it happens, I’m also wearing underwear.

    • Rachel says:

      Thank you Stacey – that’s really lovely of you 🙂 And thanks for confirming your underpant status. I count having 100% of my readers wearing underpants as one of my greatest achievements, so it’s good to know that new readers are getting on board with this right from the start!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s