Hello and welcome to the first What the F%#k Friday of 2014! I couldn’t think of a better way to kick off the first Friday of theNew Year than with a a bumper edition of the random and ridiculous from my WTF files.
I was going through said files during the holidays and discovered some photos I’d completely forgotten about!
And since a couple of my mates have recently contributed a some beauties that I’ve been dying to share I felt I had no choice to share them with the world. You know, just in case the internet ever runs short of weird and crazy shit.
So without further ado…
Number Plates #2 – AKA “The Wanker Olympics”
There are so many number plate WTFs. JUST. SO. MANY!
In fact I could probably fill several posts entirely made up of with the bad, sad number plates I see around the place. I won’t though, because you could lose your faith in the human race entirely after reading a post like that.
So I’ve decided to focus on quality, and have re-named this section “The Wanker Olympics” in recognition of the fact that if you’ve made it here then you’ve managed to achieve truly world class levels of wankery indeed…
GOLD MEDAL: BMWs
BMW have taken out the gold not just based on the following examples, but also on the fact that they were also featured in the last WTF post which you can read here
H8ers Gonna H8
Oh yeah, we be H8’n. SUCH a burden being in the highest tax bracket and having to support all the plebs…
Captain Obvious
In case you were wondering, this is his Beamer.
SILVER MEDAL: Audi
Although they are a newcomers to the Olympics Audi have made a very strong start, proving that they are competitors to watch in upcoming events…
Like a Natural Disaster…
Oh yeah… can you feel it baby? I’m gonna rock your world like an earthquake…
BRONZE MEDAL: Mercedes
A solid effort here from Mercedes, who might have scored higher if the standard of the other competitors hadn’t been so high…
I guarantee that this person is actually not very posh at all because truly posh people, like Duchess Michael of Kent for example, do not need to TELL people they are posh. They just ARE.
Stickers
Still on the auto theme, car stickers give every day punters the chance to be a wanker without going to the expense of personalised number plates.
1. A Wagon on a Mission
I’m not sure what the owner of this vehicle is trying to achieve. It’s a bog standard tradie van – possibly owned by and electrician by the looks of all the cables inside. But there’s one thing that, as a woman, I can say with complete confidence…
This wagon is full of tools, the biggest one being the owner.
There has never been, nor will there ever BE, any fanny in that wagon
2. Nanna’s Revenge
The problem with kids today is that they grow up, have kids and then expect their parents to be on-call babysitters. Grandparents today never get a moments piece what with all the picking up and dropping off they do!
But one Nanna got smart. She realised that if the grandkids were too embarrassed to get in the car then she might get her life back…
Nanna shows she’s had 40 years experience embarrassing kids = and she’s not afraid to use it.
The score is now Nanna: 1 / Adult Children & Grandkids: 0
Signs
The world of signs provides rich pickings for a WTF hunter such as myself. Here are some of the best ones I’ve seen…
1. A New Kind of Quiche
Until now the French have traditionally dominated the Quiche market, bringing the world classics such as Quiche Loraine, Quiche Florentine and many more.
But the culinary world better get ready because Australia is finally ready to bring their own very special Quiche to the world..
I was with my partner Brook when I tok this picture. He was MORTIFIED and suddenly became very interested in the soft drink fridge at the other end of the cafe lol!
2. Brisbane’s Biggest Bargain!
Look it’s a great price. Nobody, I think, would argue with that. It’s just that “value for money” would not necessarily be what I was looking for when contemplating this… procedure
The cheapest cut in town…
3. The Royal Antediluvian Order of the Buffaloes
I have no idea what the Buffaloes do in their *snigger* Victory Temple, but I just BET it involved a secret handshake! I seriously had no idea places like this existed.
Also FYI antediluvian is my new favourite word.
Where do I sign up?
4. Sleep is REALLY important.
You really do want to get a healthy sleep. Because otherwise you’ll end up next door…
Seriously, you don’t want to end up next door
International WTF
There’s been a few pics and memes going around lately about westerners getting tattoos in Asian languages that pretty much translate to “foreigners are dickheads” and “how’d you like some Hep C with that tattoo?”.
So in the spirit of lighthearted international banter I thought I’d feature two AWESOME WTFs my friends captured in various parts of Asia…
The Magic Ingredient
It will be a very sad day indeed when I can pass up a poo joke. Because it will mean I am dead!
This awesome WTF was captured by my friend while on holiday in Thailand. And as she pointed out to me, cooking with Poo has been such a hit that this is the SECOND edition of the book!
Something to think about the next time your ordering something random in a Thai restaurant…
Random Adult Breast-Feeding
Now before we start I want to make it clear that I have NO views whatsoever on the subject of extended breast-feeding. Basically their your boobs and you can do what you like with them.
But even so this has got to be one of the most bizzarre things I have ever seen – a true WTF in every sense.
Possibly the best WTF ever!
This photo was taken by my friend Bree on a recent trip to Singapore, at a place called Har Paw Villa. Apparently it’s a trippy semi-religious theme park created by the brothers who invented Tiger Balm!
Well we’re nearly at the end of the first What the Fu%#K Friday (I TOLD you it was a bumper edition!), but there are just two more random WTFs that I’d like to leave you with.
Wizard!
This came up in the “People You May Know” section of LinkdIn. I had no idea there were marketing practitioners whose powers were so great they have gone over to the dark side…
Harry Potter is the least of your worries…
ALL HAIL THE MULLET DUCK!
He is the Billy Ray Cyrus of the poultry world.
Wishing you all a magnificent 2014 full of the random and ridiculous 🙂
The Very Inappropriate Blog 
These were bloody brilliant. I think Fanny Wagon has to be my favourite though, at least the owner (who, as you rightly pointed out is not getting any) has a sense of humour to make up for his other deficits 😀 But honestly there were too frackin many to choose from! Quickly searches antedeluvian – oh yeah, it’s my favourite word too now. Instead of “back in the day when the arseholes came a sniffing around” I will now begin Back in my antedeluvian days, when the troglodytes where sniffing around…Hilaire, thanks hon 🙂
*were*.
I loved the Fanny Wagon too! It’s like a bad joke from the Benny Hill show lol. And I am constantly on the look out for opportunities to use antediluvian so thank YOU for providing me with another application 🙂
I haven’t laughed so hard in ages! Thank you so much for sharing! Stopping over via FYBF, I shall now follow your blog in ALL THE PLACES!
Thanks Cassandra. I have followed you on twitter for quite a while now and your random observations often make me laugh! I wasn’t really aware that you had a blog though so will now do the same re: FOLLOWING YOU IN ALL THE PLACES!
THE CHEAPEST CUT IN TOWN! HAHA! Thanks for the giggles.
My pleasure Em! I actually had to park illegally on a very busy road to get that shot but I couldn’t not get it 🙂
This was awesome, I so needed to laugh. I want a bad nanna sticker when I’m older!
Toni, I am thinking of getting one for my Mum. She is cheeky enough to pull it off. Glad I was able to facilitate a laugh when you needed one x
Hah hah … have you seen the car sticker with very rude stick figures saying “Making my Family”? Yeah not one I’ll be sticking on my car anytime soon …
NO! I definitely would have remembered seeing that one. I have a couple of of sarcastic ones in my files though but they’ll keep until next time.
These are gold! Got a good laugh out of the wanker number plates!
Sarah the ones here don’t even scratch the surface of my collection! Why do people do it? I will never understand them but I thank them for the amusement they provide 🙂
Love WTF Friday. I can’t believe so many people gladly tell the world how much of a wanker they are..maybe they don’t have anyone in their life to tell them kind of like the people who go on Idol and can’t sing for shit! So really WTF Friday is a community service 😉
I think your on to something with that public service shit! Maybe I should get a card made and slip it under their windscreen with something like “Your car has been selected to appear in WTF Friday” written on it with a link to the blog. Only thing is this would only work in carparks – not with the action shots taken by the boys while I am driving.
Still I think you’re on to something… 😉
Hi-larious! That booby feeding one is totally WTF worthy. Cooking with POO…ha ha ha. Thanks for the laughs 🙂
Alicia, the adult breast-feeding one made my eyes nearly fall out of my head when I saw it!! SO RANDOM. The place is full of really weird statues of half animal / half human hybrid creatures. I think the guys who created it may have gone a bit wacko from the smell of Tiger Balm!
Oh I am so adding wizard to my LinkedIn profile!!
AWESOMELY awesome. I laughed for a straight 5 minutes at the quiche byself. Sadly there’s only Herbie here and he doesn’t understand the joke. Stupid dog. I’m too scared to use tiger balm anymore in case it’s derived from some suckled mother-to-grandmother colostrum product. And COOKING WITH POO! The best. I’m off to eat my dinner now. Without poo.
I love Quiche Byself – it gets a little lost in amongst some of the more obvious WTFs but it made me snigger uncontrollably in the cafe when I saw it. Brook really did disown me when I whipped out the phone to grab a pic but I didn’t care – I HAD to get it!!
Oh my goodness, there’s just so much going on here I don’t know where to start! The Wenatex/Funderal one made me chuckle. Near us there’s a funeral parlour with a sign out the front promoting their resident JP – in case you want to sign anything over at the last minute? The number plates are gold indeed. I agree re the ‘posh’ car. I made a similar argument when Queensland announced itself as the ‘Smart State’. If you’ve got to spell it out… As for the breastfeeder, the best part is the little Sale of the Century meets Jazz Hands meets ‘here’s one I prepared earlier’ character in the background. Fabulous collection!
Yeah the little dude in the background is awesome! I think the fumes from the Tiger Balm must have sent them a bit bonkers – either that or they were VERY eccentric characters 🙂
WTF – especially to those last few! Idiots with pricey cars and personalised plates aren’t smart, they just make themselves easier to target! I’ve missed you lovely – get back to your hilarious self, if you have the time! And Tweed does sound nice , but you WILL regret asking myself and my 3 to come down, I PROMISE YOU, but I would LOVE to come for a morning or arvo if suits, just to meet you – especially before our Feb get together! xxx
These are brilliant, wanker olympics, classic! I especially like the trying very hard chap with the ‘fanny wagon’. Perhaps he’s fooling himself, since he isn’t fooling anyone else! Can’t wait for next Friday’s edition 🙂
Love WTF Friday Rachel – if I ever kept anything up I’d consider doing something similar but (as I am crap at most things) I shall just keep an eye out and send any contributions to you!
Hilarious!!! This is exactly what I needed for a good laugh! So, so funny! 🙂
LOL! OMG! These are so good! I hate stupid stickers – especially those family stick ones. How can you summarise a family in shapes of sticks?
A friend witnessed an enraged teenager having a fight with her mum at the local shopping centre car park and she was trying to rip off her stick figure off the car.
Now that’s teenage angst for you 🙂