What the F%#k Friday

What the F#%? Friday - Header

Linking up with The Lounge because we’re failing with STYLE 🙂

 

Howdy all, it’s it finally time for another What the F#%? Friday!

This week I’m not just cataloging the weird, wonderful and just plain WACK. Oh no. This week is dedicated to those most satisfying of WTFs … FAILS.

Now there is an argument that all instances of WTF have, at their heart, an element of FAIL.

However if you want to argue semantics you should probably go and find a blog where the author knows what semantics ARE and then argue with them instead of me. Lord knows it’s school holidays and I am having all the arguments one woman can stand.

And on that note I’d like to give some credit to my boys.

Finding random stuff for these posts has become a bit of a family obsession and they have become my unofficial “spotters” when we are out and about. And in the case of several of the number plate photos they have also taken on the role of photographer.

If I’m driving and we spot something interesting, who ever is sitting in the front will shout “I’ll get it Mum!”. Then, after a brief scrummage in my handbag for my iPhone, they’ll start clicking away with the professionalism of a miniature paparazzi!

My little accomplices – how I love them! The irony of someone trying to make a Volvo “cool” with a number plate like this was lost on them but not on me 😉

My little accomplices photo-bombing a number plate pic :)

My little accomplices photo-bombing a number plate pic 🙂

OK, so now without any further ado here is the What the F#%? Friday FAIL edition…

Street Names

I’m going to cheat a bit here (already!) and include an awesome street name fail AND one that is an absolute winner. See if you can guess which is which.

1. A street of winners?
In Brisbane we don’t just let Bogans live where ever the damn hell they like! No we take a much more sensible approach. We give them their own street…

If you ever wondered where they came from, now you know!

If you ever wondered where they came from, now you know!

2. A winning street
Call me a nerd if you like, but wouldn’t this be the most awesome street to live in? Or is that “illogical”? 😉

I loved this so much I just had to give it the Vulcan Salute!

I loved this so much I just had to give it the Vulcan Salute!

Number Plates

The personalised number plate is almost doomed to failure from the start. Put simply if you need to tell people something about yourself so badly that you have to express it on the exterior of your car, then you are trying WAY TOO HARD.

Like these people…

1. Livin’ (or lovin’?) IT
Ok so we can see you’ve got a beemer. Round of applause for you. It’s not clear whether it’s an abbreviated version of LIVING it or LOVING it. But either way it spells W.A.N.K.E.R to me…

Are you mate? Are you really?

Are you mate? Are you really?

2. Desinger Label
This one is my favourite, and not just because this person has blatantly tried to gain street cred by associating themselves with a prestigious designer label.

No it’s the fact that they put this number plate on a KIA, the crappiest car ever to grace the byways of suburbia, that really appeals to my sense of irony.

The number plate may be all class, but the car is all ass!

The number plate may be all class, but the car is all ass!

For those of you who are startled by my animosity toward KIAs you can get the back story here

Sign Fails

It never ceases to amaze mt the truly bizarre shit that people put on signs! Totally wack. Again I’m going to give you a couple of FAILS and one mega-WIN.

1. Lushington Softstone

We’re going to do a little quizz for this one. When you read the name Lushington Softstone what do you think it is referring to?

Once I get 20 votes I’ll post a picture of the answer 😉

2. Toilets. They are not for standing on.

My trusty friend Paula has done me a great service by drawing my attention to a very serious issue. Apparently there is a world-wide epidemic of people who think it is OK to stand on the toilet to do their business!

No Standing. Anytime.

No Standing. Anytime.

Alright, epidemic may be too strong a word. But there are clearly enough people doing this to warrant an actual sign being constructed. And it also helpfully reminds you to put your toilet paper in the toilet. In case you’d planned to, I don’t know, put it in your pocket instead.

Who does this? I have no idea, but for any closet toilet-standers out there be warned. The toilet police have your number…

3. The Death of a Video Store

I’m a bit obsessed with the slow slide into obsolescence that is currently being experienced by many products and institutions that I grew up with – machines like faxes are a good case in point.

Video stores are also at risk of extinction. There are a couple still hanging on by their finger nails but more and more often when I see a video store it’s empty with a “For Lease” sign on it.

As is the case with the store in this photo. But this store is a little bit different. It decided it would NOT go gently into that good night. It was going to have one last shot – and here it is…

Vale, Video Store

Vale, Video Store

I salute you noble video store. You died a good death.

The Mother if all FAILS

If you ever needed evidence of the decline in musical culture since the the grunge era, then you need look no further than Psy. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more naff a marketing team in Korea decided that what Psy really needed to consolidate his popularity was a doll…

Life like in a very creepy way

Life like in a very creepy way

But that’s not the fail. The real FAIL is that is dances!!!!

If you’ve got a photo that you that made you go WTF then you can post it on my Facebook page or DM me on twitter @theviblog using the #WTFFriday hashtag.

Well I hope you’ve enjoyed the FAILS edition of What the F#%? Friday. And don’t forget to do the Lushington Softstone quiz 🙂

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34 comments on “What the F%#k Friday

  1. I saw that toilet sign at the airport recently. It’s probably for Asian visitors – lots of their public toilets are squat affairs in the floor and you put your toot paper in a bin. It’s considered more hygienic than your bum sharing real estate with germs from other butts on the toilet seat. Is lushington softstone kitchen tops?

    • Rachel says:

      I did think that’s what it might be, but I still don’t really get it because surely you’d stand on the floor OVER the loo rather than ON the actual seat. You wouldn’t have to share “bum real-estate” (I LOVE that term) and you wouldn’t break you neck falling off!

  2. Katyberry says:

    I love that your boys get involved! Woohoo! The next generation of sneaky paps!
    And I can also solve a bit about the toilet sign, because I’m helpful like that. You’ll see them places where you might have a lot of international guests – because people used to those squat toilets, the hole in the ground ones (oh God! Now I’m having some hideous flashbacks) are as unfamiliar with how to use our toilets as we are with theirs.
    And finally, why are you up do early? Is it like here, stupid stupid children, or have you worked out how to pre-program these things?!

    • Rachel says:

      Oh yes I have some stomach churning memories of a trip to Tailand during my twenties so I hear you on the flash backs!
      And yes I scheduled this one – it’s quite easy on wordpress.com. On your draft where it says “Publish Now” there is a little edit link. Click on that and it will bring up a date and time box which you can use to set the time and date you’d like to publish. Then just click the “schedule” button and you’re done!

      The only thing is you have to make sure your “blog time” is actually the right time. n the settings bit you can select Brisbane time. Let me know if you need more help 🙂

      PS Glad you ditched the balloons 😉 They were cute but they git in the way.

  3. Me says:

    Love this – as always !!!! What Cooker and Looker said – when A was working in Taiwan it was all we could do to find disabled toilets when we were out because the others were all squat pans which I absolutely refused to use and yes, toilet paper is to go in the bin over there not in the toilet. I C.O.U.L.D. not do this – not for anything – and I said to A that if my pieces of toilet paper landed up blogging up the whole sewerage system of Taiwan, they are in worse shape than they thought !
    We have had a Kia for years with no troubles at all (hope I haven’t jinxed it now !!) but putting a GUCCI number plate on is just wrong – actually it is wrong on any car but especially on a Kia !
    Can’t wait to see what Lushington Softstone actually is !!!
    Have the best day !
    Me

    • Rachel says:

      Oh yeah that is pretty unpleasant with the toilet paper. Explains how people end up getting so many lurgies though. Glad your KIA is not one of the crap ones. Our KIA Carnival caused us nothing but pain and suffering from the day we bought it!

  4. Oh man! Lovely early morning laugh, thanks Rach

  5. What a crack-up, I literally LOL’d at some of these, especially the Iced Volvo – took me a while to get it, though!

    • Rachel says:

      Yeah me too Lisa! I didn’t get it at the time – only later when I looked at the photos again. I’m a bit SLOW lol. Glad you liked it 🙂

  6. alex says:

    brilliant post!
    Iced Volvo cracked me up but the winner was the Gucci Kia! I used to work for a guy who had a porche with the number plate 2DLB and he never told us what it stood for… then he got drunk one day and confessed… 2 Daddy’s Little Boy… I think I threw-up in my mouth a little.

    • Rachel says:

      Thanks Alex and welcome 🙂 That Porsche guy… wow. So many kinds of wrong I don’t even know where to begin. Work must have been “interesting” after that little confession 😉

  7. mummywifeme says:

    Haha you had me laughing and nodding my head. I love your little photo bombing accomplices too.

    • Rachel says:

      Lol thanks Renee! They are SO into it. I’ve had to tell them Mummy is not allowed to chase cars through the traffic just to get a good photo. Because that is a) dangerous and b) stalking 🙂

  8. Such a laugh..need I say anymore!

  9. Nikki Morgan says:

    What a waste of a gorgeous Gucci number plate. Just shared that on my FB page, to funny not too!!
    xxx Nikki @ WonderfullyWomen

  10. Oh those vanity licence plates really shit me too. And the worst part is, my 58 year old Aunty has a red Nissan SX200 with the licence plate RUJELS. I am not shitting you! I should have taken a photo when I was there on Sunday. It explains a lot about the type of lady my Aunty is!

    • robomum says:

      Bwahahah! Are you serious?!
      I have a thing with personalised number plates. I always need to see the driver’s face – especially if it’s exceptionally wanky. I also love it when I see shit stickers on cars. But Gucci on a Kia is the BEST!
      Your kids photobombing really made me laugh!

      • Rachel says:

        Yeah I do that too! I always try to get up beside them so I can see exactly what sort of a dickhead has a number plate like that. The boys love it – they are constantly trying to get me to take photos of all kinds of crap just in case I can use it on the blog. They are very sweet.

    • Rachel says:

      Oh Kylie… I don’t like to diss your auntie but DAMN that is a bad one!! Also I am “saving” the other photo you sent me for the next What the F#%? post – I didn’t want it to get lost which I think it would have in this one (hope you know what I mean!)

  11. Sarah says:

    Love it!

  12. HILARIOUS HILARIOUS! I forgot about your WTF Friday photos, I will keep my eyes peeled again. Oh your boys are too cute and their poses are too cool for school.
    And talk about internet killing the freaking video store, we have DVD freaking VENDING MACHINES at our local shops. I KNOW! LIVING IN THE FUTURE!

  13. Cacked myself reading this, Rachel, thanks for the laugh. I’m so happy to have found someone else who has nothing but contempt for personalised number plates. – and your boys sure have cute and cool in spades 🙂

  14. Oculus Mundi says:

    Brilliant, laughed and nodded all the way through. And YES to the personalised number plates. Or knob plates, as I like to think of them. And you know how I feel about toilet standing people already 🙂

  15. EmmaK says:

    love the sign about how to use the toilet. Also please remember not to drink out of the toilet bowl at Adelaide Airport – I know how tempting it can be!! http://www.changesinlongitude.com/funny-signs/

  16. How awesome are your kids! And I totally agree with No.2 – WTF – I saw heaps of these signs in Cairns, it’s targeted at the large population of Asian tourists who squat, so I’m told by my sis who lives up there! Been missing your posts Rach – you having a life?? HOW DARE YOU??? xxx

    • Rachel says:

      Far from it Em – bloody work has been a bit all-consuming over the past couple of weeks and being buggered sucks the writing mojo out of me. It’s taking me everything just to get one a week out and I’ve even missed a couple. I wanted to say you are SO well and I am so happy for you. I may not get to all your posts but please know I am on the sidelines cheering every time I see you and your blog mentioned. Emily Have-a-laugh your domination of the blogosphere is in the bag xxx

  17. Hehehe! Too funny Rachel! Here’s to all the bogans & the vulcans – always did wonder where they came from!! Those number plates are hilarious – love, love, love the gorgeous boys photo bomb!! 🙂

  18. Kim says:

    Your boys are so cute decorating the iced Vovo. Squat toilets – ugh – they make me want to cry. Turning a bum seat into one? Don’t get it. I sure as hell don’t need to be told not to sit on those foot squatters in Asia!!!

  19. […] BMW have taken out the gold not just based on the following examples, but also on the fact that they were also featured in the last WTF post which you can read here […]

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