Procrastination 101

Well it’s only Monday and this week’s already fucked.

No I’m not being a negative Nancy. It really is. And I’ve decided that’s OK.

Don’t get me wrong – I did start out with some pretty ambitious plans for this week. The Sensible Thoughts had been in and had a good long look at last week and decided that we really should get our act together.

They had taken stock of the overflowing washing basket, feral children and pile of unopened envelopes suspected to contain bills and decreed, in quite definitive terms, that next week would be THE WEEK.

The week when the shit (all of it) in all areas was comprehensively gotten together.

Specific sub-decrees also made by The Sensible Thoughts regarding this week included:

1. Family budget drawn up which will rigorously account for all expenses
Even if that does mean coming to terms with the alarming amount of disposable income which is spent on coffee.

2. Adopt a “clean as you go” approach and do some housework each day.
This will replace the current policy of leaving it all until the weekend, by which time it has assumed such epic proportions that I am totally demoralised before I even begin.

3. Come up with a plan for educational excursions & stimulating activites to do with the boys
Rather than chasing them off the computer every 5 minutes by bellowing “For god sake go outside an run around” like some kind of demented Field Marshall.

Their over all message was simple and to the point…

The Sensible Thoughts giving it to me with both barrells

The Sensible Thoughts giving it to me with both barrells

So what happened I hear you ask?

Well as you’ve probably guessed I am a world class procrastinator.

I have an endless supply of things I can do to put off the things I SHOULD be doing.

Traditionally my favourite method of procrastination was reading. Being a quiet activity it allowed me to fly under the radar both at school and at home, giving the outward appearance of doing something useful while actually disappearing into the world of fiction.

These days my go-to procrastination activities include hanging around on various forms of social media and this blog. Special mention must also go to my boys who FORCE me to procrastinate by watching endless screaming goat videos on YouTube and also the “Duck Song”…

The Duck Song 2

If this doesn’t give you an earworm for DAYS then I don’t know what will.

In all honestly my procrastinating time is pretty limited these days.

As a parent and partner with a full-time job I tend to deal mostly in imperatives – things that must be done, that cannot be negotiated, avoided or even compromised slightly.

However life wasn’t always like this.

I was the type of vague and day-dreamy child that was always going to be better than most at avoiding the shittier parts of reality.

My procrastination tendencies probably reached their peak during the pre-kids years of my late adolescence and early twenties.

Whole days spent devouring novels instead of exam cramming.

Golden pub afternoon that dissolved in the warmth of cheap beer and bad pool.

Sleeping until 10 am… actually make that 11.00 am.

And while I can’t see myself returning to that peak state any time soon I am still regularly visited by Ms Screw-it who banishes The Sensible Thoughts with a well timed…

Ms Screw-it, looking uncannily like myself as a teenage dirt-bag :)

Ms Screw-it, looking uncannily like myself as a teenage dirt-bag šŸ™‚

So that’s why I’ve decided it’s ok that this week is already fucked.

I’ve rather defer a few of the things I should be doing to spend a little more time doing the the things I love.

Delaying housework.

Putting off comparitive analysis of competing health fund premiums to ensure we are getting the most bang for our buck.

Losing the opportunity to have my tax return lodged on time.

Dodging the washing to spend the whole afternoon playing “Monocoly” with the boys.

Living life between the lines.

Rachel x

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36 comments on “Procrastination 101

  1. SlapdashMama says:

    I knew I liked you for a reason! Procrastination is my middle name. Slapdash “Procrastination” Mama.
    It’s a blessing and a curse.
    Also, when you have finally done ur comparative analysis of health funds let me know so I don’t have to!!!

    • Rachel says:

      It is a double-edged sword isn’t it? I find myself actually doing things just so I can say to myself “right you’ve done x, y & z so now you’re allowed to play hooky!”. Golly we are both such a catch aren’t we? Sore-losing, procrastinators who lack the ability to take anything seriously! We ROCK šŸ™‚

  2. iSophie says:

    Honestly it only take a few baskets of unsorted washing and suddenly the laundry looks like a warzone that I try to avoid. Too bad I can’t because I have to walk past it to get to the toilet!

    I have never been motivated to do housework, but I have random phases of hiltler like proportions to sort, cull, clean and throw

    Monocoly sounds like a much better idea to housework, tax, or health care fund comparison.
    #teamIBOT.

    • Rachel says:

      Hi Sohpie! Yep I’d say I also subscribe to the random Hitler approach – I’ll reach a point when enough is enough and rope everybody into a massive clean out. And I love “Monocoly” (Mr. 5’s pronounciation :)). Now all three of my boys are finally old enough to play properly it’s HEAPS of fun. Rach xx

  3. robomum says:

    I kinda get a kick out of housework, especially if I know it’ll stay clean for a while. Yes, strange. But bill paying, budgeting etc…. Just call me procrastination.com. Ugh.

    • Rachel says:

      You’re still on a post-nephew cleaning high LOL! But I like procrastination.com it’s got a nice ring to it. I could definitely spend some time on a site that like šŸ™‚

  4. Marti says:

    Robomum, I used to be the same! Love looking around at a clean house… so sad but so true. But these days I sweep it and it’s ‘crumbed’ within the hour… polish it- fingerprints within minutes… slave over a hot stove- devoured in seconds!

    So now I tend to move whatever is grossly offensive (hide that ironing basket before visitors arrive) and throw out anything I can’t stand the sight of (or stand on!). Then, I’m with you Rachel, I read or faff about on the internets!!!

    Procrastination is like that friend who gets you to have another drink and kick on until the wee hours, without thinking about the next day’s fallout!

    • Rachel says:

      I’m also quite ruthless with the throwing out – we have a small house with not much storage so if it’s not being used, broken or just annoying me siting around somewhere it shouldn’t be then I’ll chuck it. And yes the endless food cycle – on the weekends it feels like I’ve just cleaned up from the last feed when it’s time to start prepping for the next!

      I don’t think anyone can really deny us the pleasure of a good faff under these conditions could they šŸ˜‰

  5. Karen Reid says:

    Haha can totally relate! I tell myself yes I’ll fold the washing, do some housework but then I start faffing around & nothing gets done. Still hoping that fairies do exist & will come in & do it all for me

    • Rachel says:

      I get it folded but then fall at the last fence and can’t be stuffed putting it away! And like you I regularly wish for the cleaning fairies to visit but so far that have not obliged xx

  6. Oculus Mundi says:

    I relate to this on every level. Except I have now just give up even trying to force myself to do anything. I do stuff when I have to now, and not before. Which is what I always did, except I worried about it heaps and felt kind of vaguely bad. Now, nothing. I don’t care, I don’t think about it, I do the bare minimum of the shite stuff. And, amazingly, it works just as well anyway šŸ˜€

    • Rachel says:

      I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there Alison – even when “The Sensible Thoughts” start giving me grief things I’m not doing and I start worrying it still doesn’t actually increase the amount of shit that get’s done. It only increases the attendant stress. Wish I’d worked that out earlier!

  7. BOYEATSWORLD says:

    Housework is so last year. Can totally relate as I sit next to a growing pile of washing and dig around in the basket of actually washed clothes (that’s been sitting here for a week) for something to wear, rather than putting them away. Hopefully, while I am doing that the dish fairies will wash about the breakfast plates.

    • Rachel says:

      I am SO glad to hear that housework is out this year ;D Putting the clothes away is my nemesis too. I can wash them, I can dry them, I can fold them – but can I put the bastards away? No I cannot!

  8. Kevin says:

    best introduction sentence of the year. Played.

    • Rachel says:

      Awwww thanks šŸ™‚ I have been planning to read the 3rd instalment of your project with Declutterbug since the weekend but haven’t managed it yet. I am gong to fix this tonight as I’ve been looking forward to it since the last one!

  9. Me says:

    It’s amazing what you can find to do to stop you having to do what needs to be done !!!
    Have the best day !
    Me

  10. Tax return? Shiz that’s early! Housework sucks ass, however today I have bombed the kid’s bathroom cupboard to rid it of the family of cockroaches, something that has taken me 3 months to do. However if it makes you feel better I have EVERY SINGLE TOY AND ITEM OF CLOTHING MY KIDS HAVE EVER OWNED stuffed in every nook and cranny because I’m too lazy to sell, biff or giveaway – 5 years world! UGH x

    • Rachel says:

      I did the same to the cupboards under the kitchen sink last weekend. Bleeeuurrghhh! I’ve got about 10 baits in there now to assist with putting THAT job off again for as long as possible!

      I’m quite good at moving the toys/clothes down the line (with all boys this works quite efficiently). The problem is that everything banks up in Mr 5’s room to be sorted because he’s the end of the line. That is why his room has been a tip for the last 3 weeks! R xx

  11. I’m working on procrastination until I really perfect it, and it’s coming along quite nicely šŸ™‚

  12. lyndaal says:

    oh! stop! my stomach!!! awesome post – how good are the goat video thingers!

    • Rachel says:

      Thanks Lyndaal! They are awesome aren’t they? The boys and I sit around the computer absolutely cacking ourselves. Says a lot about my sense of humour that I share the same taste as a pack of small boys!

  13. Ness says:

    The truth it that if you have a family there will ALWAYS be something important that needs doing. If you don’t take time out from it all it can become overwhelming and anxiety provoking. At least that’s how I justify my procrastination anyway.

    • Rachel says:

      Exactly. It’s funny but there is also a serious side to it. You have to give yourself permission to take time out and also to accept the fact that it is not possible (or healthy) to do ALL the things xx

  14. “Living life between the lines” – I love this – is there any better way to live life?

  15. I’m giving a yin yang perspective here – you need to put yin energy into contemplating things for a while (housework, bills etc) – these things cannot be rushed. Only then can you act with yang energy – otherwise it would surely be a rash reaction to what needs to be done and you might just screw it all up. It’s all about balance really. Take some yin time, have a cup of tea, get lost in play or in a book – otherwise life would simple be imbalanced and you wouldn’t want that! And I love your last line too!

    • Rachel says:

      Hmmm this comment is real food for thought. I must admit to never giving much thought to the WAY I approach this type of thing. I think you’re probably right in that I tend not to have a plan – I’m more likely to just decide to do things on a whim and then bulldoze ahead.

      I will think about this some more. Thank you very much for this unexpected insight šŸ™‚

  16. Oh who needs to do all of these? I vote for doing what makes you and others happy!! šŸ˜€

  17. Eve Adams says:

    Rachel you are HILARIOUS! Love the cartoons, nice touch. I think you might just be the next big thing. Thanks for the giggles.

  18. becc03 says:

    I pissed myself at the opening sentence. Yes I really resonate with that feeling on a weekly basis.
    Definitely go with point 2. I used to be a weekend cleaner, but decided that no weekend should be spent on such drab tasks. They are there to be enjoyed. A little bit as you go, can actually help a lot šŸ™‚
    Becc @ Take Charge Now

  19. 1 of the outlaws says:

    Well done Rach, I just lost an 1.5 hrs to procrastination 101. An hour & a half you say , give me a break i had to pick my self up off the floor a couple of times laughing so hard i fell out of my chair & i had to write this reply.Its up there with Mrs Browns Boys.I will look at Proc… in a whole new light, it not as bad as i first thought. Going to do more quoting, load dish washer, get G,s rugby gear ready for 2moro do the firewood,clean the car , then pick G up from School.Thank for the motavation. PS is there a Comedy Club in Brissy, Well stop PROCRASTINATING and get your ass on stage.
    1of the outlaws.

    • Rachel says:

      Hey Bro! Glad I could assist with your motivation and a few laughs today šŸ˜‰ Not sure the Brisbane comedy scene is ready for me but I’ll be banging on here on the blog for the foreseeable future. The boys were talking about G the other day, they can’t wait till he comes over! Rach šŸ™‚

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